Church Bulletins

It's the weekend, have a little laugh...
these sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
- The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
-Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help
-Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days
-Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow
-The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign> slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
-Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door