Kimmer: Church Bulletins

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Church Bulletins

It's the weekend, have a little laugh...
these sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
- The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
-Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help
-Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days
-Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow
-The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign> slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
-Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door

9 Comments:

At 7/16/2006 3:53 AM, Blogger Mark Wilson said...

Hillarious!

(Pls consider allowing people to submit anonymous and other types of commenting?)

 
At 7/16/2006 5:21 AM, Blogger gail said...

Thanks Kimmer. They were so funny. Lol :)
Love Blue

 
At 7/17/2006 5:47 AM, Blogger gail said...

Kimmer, David Crowder is singing "Wholly Yours" as I blog. It is so good.

 
At 7/17/2006 9:44 PM, Blogger Kimmer said...

Hello Mark -
thanks for stopping by and thanks for the nice reference to my prayer blog on your blog. Very glad to know you appreciated it but I must defer credit to my pastor you know :) Hey, I dont know what other types of commenting you mean? I know we can choose to allow anonymous comments but I dont really want to after seeing the trouble some people have had with it. But thank you for the suggestion anyway.

Hi Gail -
glad you liked them, I thought some of them were pretty funny too :). So you have some Crowder? I dont have any Crowder, except passion, perhaps I should get some. I did see the interview on worship together where he was describing the concept for Wholly Yours and how his Mom is the one who came up with it.

Blessings~
Kimmer

 
At 7/17/2006 10:00 PM, Blogger Kimmer said...

Hey Eliz,
well ....it sounds like all in all you had a good time in God's presence, worshipping Him at the festival and that is the most important thing, yes? :) I wouldnt really worry about anything else and would take it for the fun experience it was, and hopefully the Lord used the extended time worshipping in His presence to deepen everyone's walk with Him. He is so faithful to us in that way, isnt He? Draw near to Him and He'll draw near to us ... He is wonderful :)

Who did you go with? a group from church?

The pics on your blog - that is a cool solarization effect on a few of them - did you do that when you uploaded them or were they showing on the big screen that way. Either way, it looked neat.
Glad you had a good time
Blessings Eliz~
Kimmer :)

 
At 7/17/2006 10:47 PM, Blogger eliz said...

kIMMER,
howdy, yep he did draw near as I did! most important!!

about the effects think it was the screen or something?? should have just got closer.

went and picked up A collision by crowder very good!
and picked up a book called
Living Christ`s character from the inside out, by David Edwards, forwarded by Beth Moore, and recommended by Chris Tomlin no less. so I am going to read it I will tell ya how it goes,
Chris said about it and I quote..

"David Edwards has the unique ability to find humor in a humorless world while expressing the absolute truth of Jesus. His grasp of what it means to live the character of Christ is seen in his life both on and off the stage. I am confident that through this book many lives will be changed. Mine already has "

so it is a must read I am sure.
stayed tuned for more pics...

 
At 7/17/2006 11:47 PM, Blogger Kimmer said...

Eliz
sounds like the book comes highly recommended, with those two I bet it is good; keep us posted :)

 
At 7/19/2006 12:23 AM, Blogger psalmsgirl said...

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee.

Very funny Ms. Kimmer. I really needed the laugh...........I love the one about "Up Yours".......hee, hee.

Totally awesome!

My kind of humor..........hee, hee

You go girlfriend!!! :)

How is Ms. Casey doing?

love,

lil p

 
At 7/31/2006 8:40 PM, Blogger Karen said...

I love these. Classics!

 

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